'I was a ball of insomnia and depression' - Jordan's Story
Jordan’s sleep problem in brief:
+ Short term but very intense sleep problem
+ Experiencing significant low mood
+ Working nights at first then unable to work at all
+ Had visited A&E in desperation
+ Feeling very fearful
Jordan had a very intense experience of insomnia which took hold very quickly. He was getting very little sleep and even when he was asleep he felt it was very light and he felt like he wasn't really asleep. He had become very fearful of going to bed, he would physically shake, experience a racing heart and be constantly asking himself 'am I going to get to sleep', or 'am I asleep yet'? His physical symptoms had become so intense after a few nights of not sleeping he had visited A&E as he was scared for his health. The most difficult thing for Jordan was that his GP had told him there was nothing more they could do to help him - he felt he must be broken and stuck with this. He was so embarrassed about what was happening to him that he didn't tell anyone other than his mum - she sought help.
In his words…
Describe how things were for you just before you started working with Emma (e.g., how long the problem had been going on for, how much sleep you were getting, how you were feeling).
Before I came to Emma for help I felt lost, and all hope had just gone I almost felt like the rest of my life was going to feel like I do now, silly but that’s how I felt. I just didn’t know why I was feeling like I did. It was something I have never felt before. Knowing that, made the feeling worse and worse, building up to become something I felt I had no control over. It was almost like been trapped with no hope, just a ball off insomnia and depression wrapped up in one. At my worst point my sleep was getting that bad I wouldn’t sleep for days, maybe 4 days sometimes. And even then it might only be an hour or two sleep but still I didn’t even think or feel like I’d been to sleep. I remember going to the doctors and trying to get help or some sort of understanding of what was wrong with me. They gave me some sleeping tablets along with some anti depression tablets. I was just that scared of not sleeping I didn’t even want to take the sleeping tablets just in case they didn’t work. That fear was just feeding my insomnia more and more and I didn’t even know it.
Describe how things are for you now. What has changed?
Now, I feel amazing!! The life I used to have and enjoy, which I thought I’d never have again – somehow with Emma’s help I gained my life back. Enjoying life and everything in my life once again. I just can’t describe the feeling! I can now sleep for at least 12 hours a day if I wanted to, sleep just seems so easy for me now. Emma helped me in ways that taught me to gain control of my own thoughts again. Even if it didn't seem like it was helping slowly but surely it did!
If you could go back and give yourself a piece of advice or support when you were struggling, what would it be?
If I could go back and advise myself on something it would be as much as I felt embarrassed and ashamed of how I felt, talk to someone about how I felt. I kept it all in and never told anyone about it because I was scared of what people would think. Not even my closet mates. But when I finally did talk to someone I felt so relieved.
Are there any other comments you would like to make?
Emma helped me in ways I didn’t even know that she was doing it. From my personal experience with Emma I couldn’t fault her. I could not thank her enough for what she did for me. She gave me my life back!!
A note from Emma
Jordan struggled with the extremes of sleeplessness which due to the nature of the symptoms, can prevent people seeking the appropriate help. Thank goodness he had his mum who supported this to happen. Once he understood what was going wrong with his sleep and that there was a way to fix it, Jordan regained a sense of hope and was quickly able to regain good sleep by following the SAFE sleep formula. As Jordan got his sleep back on track, I watched him come back to life - his personality returned really quickly and he got straight back to work.