To the perpetually sleep deprived - I see you

blog long term insomnia

+ The problem of insomnia needs to come out of the darkness and into the light
+ A debilitating condition, a daily struggle for so many but yet it is still largely hidden
+ Share this post and reach out



You want to sleep but you can’t. You know you desperately need sleep but it just won’t come. Maybe your doctor has told you there is nothing more they can do for you. Maybe you don’t want to take sleeping tablets or maybe you take them but wish you didn’t. Maybe you take them and they don’t work. Maybe you don’t know what to do or maybe you gave up on all that a long time ago. Regardless, you are chronically sleep deprived.


I want you to know that I SEE YOU 

To those who look in the mirror and don’t recognise the exhausted person looking back at them…I see you.

To those spending lonely hour after lonely hour awake at night willing sleep to come…I see you.

To those who feel that the world is whizzing around them like a party they weren’t invited to…I see you.

To those who negotiate with themselves about when it’s ok to take a sleeping tablet or ‘nibble’ at one, praying it will do the trick…I see you.

To those who get out of bed exhausted and deflated and simply do not know how they will get through the day…I see you

To those who feel like a lost cause…I see you.

To those who dread the night time…I see you.

To those who feel so lonely in the dead of night…I see you.

To those whose mind goes to the darkest, most negative places in the quiet of night…I see you

To those whose first thought when invited somewhere or planning a holiday is ‘will I be able to sleep’…I see you

To those who have ever had a holiday ruined by their inability to sleep…I see you.

To those who have given up hope after years of suffering from lack of sleep…I see you.

To those who believe ‘there must be something wrong with me’ or ‘maybe I just don’t need that much sleep’…I see you

To those who plaster on a smile and carry on as normal, trying to ignore the tiredness that is heavy in every part of their being…I see you

To those whose mind feels thick and foggy during the day but then comes alive, buzzing with thoughts at night…I see you

To those who feel unable enjoy their life or their family to the full because they are just too tired…I see you

To the perpetually sleep deprived…  I SEE YOU & you are NOT ALONE.


In actual fact, the perpetually sleep deprived are everywhere. They are our family members, our friends, our colleagues. They need love and kindness and understanding and support. But more than all that they need recognition and acknowledgement. They need to exist in our awareness.


The problem of insomnia needs to come out of the darkness and into the light. It is a debilitating condition, it is a daily struggle for so many but yet it is still largely hidden.


Please reach out to anyone you know who has insomnia. Share this post. Let them know that you see them, that they are not alone. You may never know how much that means.


It is easy to get drawn in to their ways of thinking, expectations and their anxieties around sleep.

Especially when sleep problems have been going on for a while, it is easy to believe that ‘this is just the way I am’ or ‘there must really be something wrong with me’ and so it is easy for the loved ones to get drawn into believing this too.

It is easy to say things like ‘we can’t do that because you won’t sleep’ or ‘make sure you have your tablets or you won’t sleep at all’. 

These things can just trip off the tongue because it is part of the reality you are experiencing and the evidence you are seeing. 

But, believing these things is where insomnia and sleep problems get their power from. So every time they say or hear these things, it compounds the problem just that little bit more. It can be even worse when they hear it from someone else. 

So, being careful about what you say can be really important. Try to keep your language neutral and supportive as much as you can. This is not always easy but if you can be aiming for this you are doing a good job. Try to make sure that you are not getting drawn into the same unhelpful thoughts and beliefs that the sufferer is stuck in. 

Instead try to say things like ‘would you like to try it’ or ‘how can I best support you with it’

So trying to be there and support your loved one without getting drawn into all the unhelpful stuff that is part of the problem.



You are not alone.




 A sleep assessment with me is a great place to start – it is a simple one off session which can be a nice entryway to getting the help they need.







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